FIRST PLACE - THE ADELAIDE
For Nadia
Petals
like poet's tongues
born in a hard season
drift across thresholds of silence,
dark red.
(Nadia Anjuman, Afghan
poet,
b. 1980. Beaten to death,
2005.)
Ann K. Schwader
This exquisite and powerful poem has stayed with me since I first read it.
Schwader's traditional cinquain is an exemplar of the form but, more
significantly, she, like her subject, has something important to say. This
memorial verse is a fitting tribute to a woman poet murdered for her art. For
those of us for whom poetry is a vital concern, Nadia's story has a place in our
ancient and noble tradition. I encourage you to read more about Nadia Anjuman.
What Schwader is displaying here is the inexorable reality of a brutal world,
challenged by art: the price of truth is blood. This is not news, but this poem
uses fresh imagery and a polished mastery of the cinquain's formal strengths to
make this announcement anew-in powerful, yet brief, lines. The turn comes in the
fourth line wherein, rather than hear of song, we hear of final silence. Our
frustrated expectation produces the poignancy of the poet's silencing. The
somber last line hits the perfect tonal note and resonates with the first line
to make the poem fully integrated and complete. The third line would be a fine
title for a biography of the subject poet. The title of the cinquain, as it
should, adds value by providing an essential context for the poem; it is as
important as would be an extra line of verse. This
is modern cinquain-writing at its best. In a book full of wonderful cinquains,
Schwader's stands out as fully realized, beautiful, powerful, and important.
SECOND PLACE
Anna Akhmatova
Your words:
sharpened fine steel
forged in the fires of Hell,
burning red coals that keep your heart
alive!
Michael L. Evans
I am a fan of Michael Evans' cinquains, particularly those with historical
or mythological subjects. Choosing among his cinquains is made more
difficult by their variety-so much from which to choose! I selected
"Anna Akhmatova" for many of the same reasons I have cited above
with respect to "For Nadia." This also is a memorial poem, a
tribute to a lioness in winter, Russia's
great 20th century poet who suffered greatly under Stalinism, yet
triumphed in the end, showing how justice may be done in the historical
perspective.
In this cinquain, the turn comes in the middle of the fourth line where
our diminished expectations are met with the triumph of the truth. Rather
than being ultimately consigned to flames, Akhamatova survives and lives
on, immortal in world culture, preserved by the verse for which she was
persecuted. The isolation of the final word on the last line makes it a
shout of
triumph, a trumpet of survival. Lines one and five resonate perfectly:
"Your words: / alive!", summarizing the whole poem in pure
brevity. This is an outstanding example of the power and beauty achievable
in the cinquain form, and of the heavy freight which such a brief and
fragile form can carry gracefully in the hands of a master of the form
like Michael L. Evans.
THIRD PLACE
Portent
The crows,
haunting the view
from the northeast window,
settle on the yard like fragments
of night.
C W Hawes
Hawes sets up our expectations right in the title of this excellent
cinquain. We are prepared for something frightening. This is an
intelligent use of the title, which is an integral part of the classical
cinquain. The first and fifth lines together, "The crows, / of
night", catch the eye on first glance-and the chill deepens. Hawes
creates a threatening atmosphere with the artistry of a true minimalist.
The word "haunting" establishes the tone and allows us to see
the evil portent in a fresh image ("like fragments / of night")
because we are primed for it. This is quite a feat since, after all,
nothing happens in this scene other than some crows settling on the yard.
All-in-all, a magical poem that lets our imaginations run wild.
FOURTH PLACE
Adelaide Crapsey
Whisper
of flame at dusk
twinkles on the lake's edge,
shadow-shrouded, frail-eternal
echoes.
Paul Ingrassia
It is truly fitting that a tribute to the creator of the cinquain form
should be included in this short list of superb cinquains. Paul
Ingrassia's offering is a fine example of the form. The turn comes at the
end of line four with the triumphant "eternal". The first and
fifth lines "Whisper / echoes" is a potent and fresh image that
fits Adelaide Crapsey well. Her personal frailty and early death did not
bode well for the survival of the form she created and in which she wrote
only a few dozen poems. Yet, her form and her name survive in the 21st
century. The faint whisper of her voice indeed does echo down the years.
Carl Sandburg is credited with keeping
Adelaide Crapsey alive in the culture by way of his poem, also entitled
with her name, in Cornhuskers (1918). I have published my own tribute
(Loch Raven Review, Summer 2006), and Paul Ingrassia is holding up the
tradition honorably with this poem.
FIFTH PLACE
Coronation
Fall leaves
are borne by wind;
her slim grey fingers weave
a gold and beryl wreath to crown
the sky.
Anya Corke
This lovely lyric cinquain by Anya Corke is exceptional for the perfectly
integrated and realized lines, in each of which the length seems
intrinsic. Line breaks are a definitive technique for cinquains; any
arbitrary break to fit the formal requirements is a flaw in cinquain.
There is a most unusual and subtle turn in line four, the personification
of the wind is succeeded by a surprising
personification of the sky. The conceit works because of the poet's light
touch. Likewise, the short lines (one and five) carry a backstory:
"Fall leaves / the sky." with an interesting switch of
"leaves" from noun to verb. This is a quietly beautiful cinquain.
HONORABLE MENTIONS
It is too hard to stop at a certain point. There were many outstanding
cinquains in the four issues of AMAZE from 2006. Of course, that is to be
expected. I will console myself with simply noting two more cinquains as
Honorable Mentions.
Two Swallows in the Rafters
Yellowed
journal pages-
read in discreet whispers,
a poem from my scarlet days
still fresh.
Naia
Tattoo
Imprint
your love between
the colors of my mind;
the broad scope of my heart's jasper
passion.
Amy Nawrocki
My congratulations to the winner of The Adelaide prize for 2006, Ann K.
Schwader, to those who placed in the short list, Michael L. Evans, C W
Hawes, Paul Ingrassia, and Anya Corke, and to our Honorable Mentions, Naia
and Amy Nawrocki. What an honor and privilege it has been to read these
wonderful cinquains and to share my reflections on them.
- Denis M. Garrison
Editor Emeritus of AMAZE: The Cinquain Journal
Editor of Modern English Tanka
